My dear friend Bill Goulding and I both grew up in the Bronx during the same era, and one night we began discussing the typical baby carriages of those times...completely over the top for mothers who took baby out for some sun and stayed in their own neighborhood, visiting friends a few blocks away.
To quote Bill: "Those big carriages with the double big wheels that could carry a ton...dragging them up the stairwells with the big bag around the steel bar that steers the carriage filled with junk...extra diapers, five hundred bottles, and formula ("Oh he is a big eater...gained five pounds in three weeks...he's going to be a fatty like his father! ha ha ha.") Idiots!!!
Not only were the carriages huge, but they were adorned with the mandatory (and ubiquitous) metal "blanket holders" in case a gust of wind might blow it away, baby pillow with the kid's name embroidered on a pink or blue! ribbon that went across the pillow, a celebratory carriage bow, color-coordinated to the kid's gender, or some other ridiculous attachment to "keep the baby occupied" and the over-stuffed nightmare baby bag that carried everything from cloth diapers (at least 10 extra, just in case!) to clothing changes to pacifiers, and those '500 bottles' mentioned by Bill ~ one for juice, one for water, at LEAST two for milk...all this for a day trip 10 or 15 minutes from home.
And the comments!
Bill again: My favorite quote...a neighborhood idiot woman looking into the carriage at the baby "He has your mouth and your husband's big head!!!" (nice)
We're planning just one more (and end up with five in five years.)
I'm having him christened next week...I already told my mother-in-law I want a bigger carriage as a christening gift rather than money. "ANTONIO FRANCIS BIAGGI"
Is it any wonder that both Bill and I never married or wanted children???
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